I have this weird behavior that makes me wonder what my mind’s motives are for it: Anytime I’m taking some new (to me) medication, or large combinations of medicines, I purposely leave those medicine bottles in a highly-visible place on my kitchen counter so that if I should die from some sort of complication with the medicine(s), it will be apparent to whomever comes inside my house that, clearly, those were what I last ingested. I always start to put the bottle back into the cabinet it came from, but then I feel this big wave of “Noooo! Leave it on the counter so they’ll find it!!!”
My question about this is why would I care if anyone figured out what killed me if I know that I’ll already be dead? What’s it matter to me if people are able to figure out the exact cause? I like a little mystery surrounding myself as it is, so why do I care if someone sees that I took more than six Tylenol caplets in 24 hours and died immediately after (because that’s what happens on the 7th one)? I mean, I’m sure they’d determine all this in an autopsy anyway. Maybe it’s a mild form of OCD. I don’t get it.
Do you do weird stuff?